This is my pet. His name is Peeve.

Listen up boys and girls, today's lesson is about Alyssa's pet peeves. She has many of them...

Okay enough with the third person, but for real. I have a lot of pet peeves. More than I'd say the average person has. I guess not all of them are pet peeves, but rather, things that annoy the living sh*t out of me (on a bad day) and just irritate me on a good day. The following are in no particular order...

NUMERO UNO:
Snoring. I know. I know. You can't help it. Well let me just tell you, my future husband is going to have to "help it." He snores? His ass is getting surgery. I'll settle for breathe right strips as long as they work. There will be a cabinet stocked full. God forbid we ever ran out...Once I hear snoring I wake right up. Can't get it out of my head. SUCH an awful sound.

DOS:
The way people eat. PLEASE for the love of god, could you please just chew with your mouth shut? My mommy and daddy taught me how to do this when I was like two. At this point in your adult lives, this should not be that much to ask. Also, to me, biting your fork is like nails on a chalk board. Please refrain from doing so in my presence. And, if you're going to smack your food in your mouth, don't expect an invite to any of my dinner parties. I really just don't know how people make certain noises with their food when they eat...It's so unbelievably disgusting.

TRESSSSS:
Messiness and lack of organization. Now, I'm no angel when it comes to keeping things clean but let me tell you, the way some people keep their dorm rooms at this place makes me cringe. How can you live like that!? Clothes on the floor, garbage overflowing, dust everywhere, piles of notebooks on the desks. Terrible! I'm the type of person who has to make their bed before I can get in it to go to sleep. I have to clean off my entire desk and make sure everything is in its proper space (yes, everything has a proper place) before I can sit down to do my homework. If I do homework on my bed, it's got to be made and there can't be any clothes on it or notebooks from classes I'm not working on. As for organization, thats like an essential thing in life. I'm not always a neat freak, but I sure as hell am an organization freak.

QUATRO:
When people don't answer your question. Obviously I'm asking you a question for a reason, I feel that you have the answer to something I clearly need answered. So please, for both of our sakes, instead of beating around the bush, would you mind just answering my question? I'd really appreciate it...And teachers, please don't turn the question around on me. Don't ask me "Well what do you think" because if I knew what I thought, then CLEARLY I wouldn't be asking you now would I? I didn't think so...This gets me no where.

CINCO:
Couples who sit on the same side of the table/booth when there is no one on the other side. Okay, look. When you work in a restaurant it drives you nuts. If you really insist, than fine. Personally, if I'm at a restaurant with Aaron I'd rather be across the table so I can look at him. But if you want to cramp next to your significant other and bump arms and canoodle at the dinner table than fine. Just don't do it where I work :) I find it extremely weird. You have the entire table!!!!

SEIS:
Bad table manners. Sit up. Put your napkin on your lap. Don't shovel your food into your mouth. Don't put your elbows on the table. Don't hold your utensils with your ENTIRE hand. Simple, really. If you're in the comfort of your own home its not so bad. But if you're at a family gathering or out in public or something of the sort, you know you should display your best manners just like I know your mommy and daddy taught you. God bless your handsome little sailor self Aaron but your table manners need some help ;-)

SIETE:
Snapping gum. Please please please just stop. Once in a while is okay, I do it too by accident sometimes. But if we're in an exam or even just in a lecture, could you please refrain? Thanksssssss

OCHO:
The naming of celebrity couples, or any couple for that matter. If anyone tries to combine mine and Aaron's names to give us some sort of a "cute" nickname you've got another thing coming. Why is it necessary to call Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie "Brangelina"???!!!!???!!!! It's not cute. It's not funny. It's not necessary. It's annoying.

NUEVE:
Grammar. At this point we should all know that there are 3 different forms of the word there. "There" is an adverb meaning location, or if used with "to be" as an idiom. Are we going there tonight? Are there going to be a lot of people there? WOAH twice in one sentence..."Their" used to show possession or ownership. Their house is very nice. "They're" is a contraction of they are. They're going to be there tonight with their parents. WOW, look at that. Used every form in one sentence. Your and you're is rather annoying too. But not nearly as much as there, their, and they're. I don't make that mistake. But I'll forget the "e" sometimes on the YOU ARE contraction that makes up "you're" occasionally. Work on it.  Kay? Thanks :)

AND FINALLY...

DIEZ:
Being late. Honestly, this could be a contender for the top spot on the list of pet peeves. I would rather be a half hour early for a class than be one minute late. I am NEVER late. And if I am, somethings wrong. Like really, I must have been killed on the way. Or else it was completely not under my control. Like maybe I wasn't the driver (rare). If you tell me that you are going to be here at 9, be here at 9. If you tell me to be at your house at 5, I will be there at 5. Not 5:05. 5:00. If you know you're going to be late, than call. If I think for one second that I'll be late for work, I call. Even if its a "I MIGHT be a few minutes late." I call. And if I had to call I must be stuck in traffic, because again, I'm never late. 


If you made it this far through my pet peeves you must think I'm one mental person. I warned you. I said I had a lot of them. It's not normal. Don't worry. I'm aware. Can't help it! ;-)


"I don't have pet peeves, I have whole kennels of irritation." - Whoopi Goldberg


...hey! That would have been a good title! It seems as if I am the same way. Thank you Whoopi for this realization!