But anyways, upon lugging my laundry downstairs I found 2 washers open. Of course I needed 3. Well, lucky for me some girls clothes were on the "final spin." So, upon starting my other 2 loads, I moved her laundry out of the washer and placed it neatly on top since she was not there when it was finished. I started the load and went on my merry way...
Came back 40 minutes later when the stuff was almost done. The loads take 45 minutes and I always set my alarm to 40 so that I'm there early and not holding anyone else up like this biotch....
TO MY SURPRISE I was greeted by a lovely green post it note that read, and I quote (since it is now tacked to my cork board :D) "To whoever couldn't wait one minute for me to switch my clothes--you're a f***ing bitch." Hahahahhaahahahahaha....
Hahaha.
HA.
Wait a sec. Let's rewind. You were late to get your clothes in a building with 200 people and 8 washers. And you're going to leave me this little snotty note on the washing machine? Cute.
It gets better. I turn around and see a girl sitting at the table in there. So I couldn't help but ask "Excuse me but did you write this? Were those your clothes?"
Girl: "Yes, I did. Don't get me wrong, I move peoples stuff too. (JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER PERSON IN THIS BUILDING) But I always wait at least ten or fifteen minutes (I call bullsh*t) before I move stuff. You wouldn't want your underwear sitting up there."
Me: "I am always here at least 5 minutes before my stuff is done so that I don't do what you did and hold other people up. Whether you were here one minute later or 10 minutes later you weren't here when it was done and when I needed it. And you're right, I wouldn't want my underwear sitting up there for the whole building to look at...Hence why I am ALWAYS here before my stuff is done."
Girl: Silence.
If you're going to leave me a cute little green post it note message on the washing machine calling me a f***ing biotch than at least put up a fight when I call you out on it :D
And that brings me to the next thing... Shout out to Kristie for the list idea... I won't steal it again...
****BEST WAYS TO PISS OFF/FREAK OUT YOUR COLLEGE ROOMMATE****
1. Pretend to type in the air while complaining about how slow your computer has been lately.
2. Buy a fish tank. Fill it with beer. And dump Sardines in it.
3. Then talk to the Sardines. And name them. One fish. Two fish. Red fish. Blue fish.
4. Ask your roommate if your family can move in "just for a couple of weeks."
5. Move your mouth when you are silent and move it as little as possible when you are talking.
6. Fake a heart attack. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come pretend like nothing happened.
7. Smile. Obnoxiously. All the time.
8. Hide a bunch of potato chips in the bottom of a trash can. When you get hungry, root around in the trash. Find the food, and eat it. If your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry, demand that s/he reimburse you.
9. Cover your mouth when you talk to anyone.
10. But keep it open as much as possible when you are eating.
11. And then say..."DO YOU LIKE SEAFOOD?!" And show your roommate the contents of your mouth.
12. Put all of your books on the shelf with the spine facing the wall. Then complain loudly that you can never find the book that you want.
13. Listen to radio static.
14. ...Or "the sounds of nature" aka "pornographic audio that helps you..."sleep"...
15. Open your window shades before you go to sleep at night. And then shut them first thing in the morning.
16. Send secret admirer notes on their email account.
17. Cry...a lot...
18. Put a water balloon inside their pillow.
19. Create an imaginary cat for a pet. Talk to it every night, act like you're holding it, keep a litter box under your desk. After two weeks, say that your cat is missing. Put up signs in your dorm, blame your roommate.
20. Sit on the floor and talk to the wall.
21. Whenever the phone rings, get up and answer the door.
22. Whenever someone knocks on the door, answer the phone.
23. Turn the lights off when you get in the room. Turn them on when you leave.
24. Refuse to communicate in anything but sign language.
25. Or tongues.
26. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
27. Every time you wake up, start yelling, "Where am I?!" and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to bed. If your roommate asks, say you don't know what he/she is talking about.
28. "Drink" a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that you are in training. Eat a dozen donuts every night.
29. Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."
30. While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
31. Start wearing a crown, all the time. If your roommate tells you to take it off, say, "What do you think you are? A king?"
32. Talk back to your "Rice Krispies." All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."
33. Challenge your roommate to a duel. If he/she refuses, claim that you have won by forfeit and therefore conquered his/her side of the room. Insist that he/she remove all of his/her possessions immediately.
34. Wear your shoes on the wrong feet, all the time. Constantly complain that your feet hurt.
35. When you walk into the room, look at your roommate in disgust and yell, "Oh, you're here!" Walk away yelling and complaining.
36. Draw a chalk outline on the floor. When your roommate comes in, say, "Don't worry. It's not what you think." If he/she asks about it again, immediately change the subject.
37. Talk like a pirate, all the time. Threaten to make your roommate walk the plank if he/she doesn't swab the deck. Arrrrrrrrrrrgh!
38. Buy a telescope. Sit on your bed and look across the room at your roommate through the telescope. When you're not using the telescope, act like your roommate is too far away for you to see.
39. As soon as your roommate turns the light off at night, begin singing famous operas as loud as you can. When your roommate turns on the light, look around and pretend to be confused.
40. Tell your roommate that your toe hurts, and that means there's going to be an earthquake soon. While your roommate is out, trash everything on his/her side of the room. When he/she returns, explain that the earthquake hit, but only on one side of the room.
41. Tell your roommate that your boobs hurt, and that means it's going to rain. While your roommate is out, dump water all over their bed. When he/she returns, make it clear that you warned them the rain was coming and they should have closed their window.
42. Leave your room and lock the door. Proceed to bang on the door, screaming, "Let me in." Get mad at your roommate for locking you out.
43. Start stealing random traffic cones from around campus and store them in your room. When word gets out around campus, blame your roommate and tell your RA or call the cops.
44. Ask your roommate if Henry, your invisible friend, can stay the night.
45. Invite your roommate to sleep over.
46. Every time you take a shower yell "I'm melting! I'm melting!"
47. When you leave the room put on a screen saver on your computer that says "I'm watching you!"
48. Take your birth control in the middle of the night and set the alarm so that you make sure you make up. Make the alarm sound your boyfriend saying "TAKE THAT PILL WE DON'T WANT NO BABIES!"
49. When your roommate is about to come home, hide in the closet. Five minutes after he gets home, walk out. If he comments, act as if you don't know what he's talking about.
50. Leave a declaration of war on your roommate's desk. Include a list of grievances.
OHHHHHH don't I just love college...Hahaha...
Ha....
.....
"I don't need to pay a therapist to give me crap. I have a roommate that does it for free." - Ally McBeal
"If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want to get an education, go to the library." - Frank Zappa
And just because this is the type of mood that I'm in...
"If life gives you lemons, go find an annoying guy with paper cuts." - Anonymous
:D
LOL! Lists are very theraputic. Its what I would say to people given the chance lol!
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