Shake, rattle, and roll.

I woke up shaking. Felt like my whole body was rattling. And then had to roll out of bed in order to projectile vomit for 20 minutes.

Vomit. Then feel fine. Vomit. The feel fine. And over and over.

No clue what happened to me. Now I just feel exhausted from the effort it takes to vomit the contents of your body. And weak. Very weak. Ugh. I don't want to move.

I did move and went to get some breakfast. Dog food cereal. At least thats what all my friends call it. Silly friends, its Kashi Heart to heart not dog fooooood. Stayed down so far.

Now I'm doing laundry. So I moved from bed to chair in dining hall. To bed. To chair in laundry room. Then from here I'm going back to my bed. Contemplating what to do about tonight and tomorrow. Gotta head home at some point for work on Sunday. But I don't want to walk to my car. Which is illegally parked up at my dorm in the "resident parking" where you need a permit. Velma doesn't have a permit. Hopefully she doesn't get a ticket. The bitch better not. I'll make her pay for it.

Sitting at this table in the laundry room is making me feel like my whole body is swaying back and forth. I must be getting sick. Fantastic!

Right before finals! Of course!

Speaking of finals. I've got 3 of them. Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday. I think. Studying starts this weekend. Hopefully.

Ugh.

I really just want this semester to be over. I'm so over it. The classes sucked. I didn't do nearly as well as I wanted to. Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now. Just have to hopefully nail my finals and move onto the next semester.

Next semesters classes:
Agriculture and resource economics.
Race, class and gender. (Sociology class)
Second half of general biology. (Ugh)
Nutrition and human development. (Yay!)
andddd
Nonwestern and comparative philosophy.

Looking forward to that. It's a lot of credits so hopefully I won't want to die.

Well.

Time to get my laundry out. And go flop in my bed. And not move. Until I have to.

Ugh. I hate getting sick. Boooo you winter.

:(

When it rains...It pours.

Talk about rain.

Damn. I trudged through enough rain yesterday to last for the rest of my life.

Honestly there is only one word for yesterday. MONSOON.

I had no choice but to go to my class that was a 3/4 of a mile walk across campus. I had to turn in my final portfolio for my english class or I never would have left my bed all day. NEVER.

What would normally have been a 15 minute walk turned into a solid 25 minutes into the sideways rain and wind. Yes, sideways rain. And near hurricane force winds. Anyone who goes to this school knows that when the forecast here says "windy" its damn near hurricane strength. Every normal day is abnormally windy here. So a forecasted windy day means you need to gear up for a hurricane. And make sure your hair is tied back.

So upon finally making it to class I dropped my backpack off in the classroom and went to the bathroom. No no kiddos. I did not have to pee. I had to ring my pants out over the toilet...

Yes. You read that correctly. I had to take my rain boots off in the bathroom (which mind you, were filled with water and my socks were drenched), and then take off my yoga pants, and ring them out like a friggen wash cloth over the toilet. My underwear were also soaked. It was literally like I just went for a swim in the lake on the way to class.

Apparently I missed the memo that 2 hoods, a rain coat, rain boots, and an umbrella are not sufficient here. Cool.

So I get back in the classroom. We're all soaked. Somehow I managed to be soaked front and back. Most people were only soaked on the front or the back, depending on which direction they walked to class.

So for an hour I sat there as my teacher expected us to rewrite her entire syllabus while feeling like I had a wet bathing suit on. My most favorite feeling ever.

HA. Not. Nothing I hate worse than sitting in a wet bathing suit.

Well maybe not NOTHING. But pretty close.

So class ends. Walk back to my room. Change. Study for a little. Then venture out to get dinner...

Soaked pair of pants number 2. Along with soaked sweatshirt and soaked Uggs. Since I couldn't wear the rain boots again because they were filled with water. SO now I have to change again. And mind you,  the walk from my room to the grab and go place...about 500 feet.

Soaked pair of pants number 3, yes THREE, came from walking across the street and back from my statistics exam. Would have been nice to do well on the exam. But no.

So to wrap up my day yesterday...
1. Aaron left for west pac.
2. It monsooned outside all day.
3. I swam to class, oh wait. No, I walked to class but LOOKED like I swam.
4. I soaked 3 pairs of pants, a sweatshirt, and my rain boots. How water got inside my rain boots its just beyond me.
5. My umbrella broke. OH YEAH I FORGOT ABOUT THAT ONE. (After getting blown inside out about 5 times one of the wires finally snapped.)
6. My stats professor decided to make the test harder to read than to actually do the problems. God! She worded everything SO confusingly! I'm not the only one who said that...
7. I got back to my room after class and my stats book was completely soaked and ruined. It was INSIDE my backpack. So the rain managed to seep inside my backpack and ruin my 100 dollar book.

......I really just can't believe the rain yesterday. Worst weather I've EVER had to walk in. EVER.

We're not even going to talk about the words and phrases that came out of my mouth during those walks yesterday.

"This blows." - Me. One of the nicer phrases that I uttered yesterday.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Well.


So begins the lame-ness of the next half of a year. Super.


***DISCLAIMER*** The emotions and moods of Alyssa Colquhoun can swing back and forth like a pendulum at any given moment in the upcoming months. You are advised not to mess...


Therefore, please refer back to the blog entitled "Where there's a will...I want to be in it." regarding the stages of deployment. First stage ending. Second stage beginning. Take note. 


Please. Take note. 


For your own benefit...And mine as well. SHANKS in advance.


........................uh.


I've decided on a few goals for myself during these next 6 months. 
1. Work as much as possible.
2. Therefore, save as much money as possible.
3. Make the deans list next semester.
4. Be hot for homecoming.
5. Not go completely mental.


...Sound like pretty good goals to me.


First one depends on how much my employer decides to put me on the schedule which in turn affects the  2nd goal. 


The 3rd I hope is doable, we'll see how my classes are. 18 credits='s death. 


4th one is an absolute must. No exceptions. Must.


5th goal...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.


HA.


Haaaaaaaaaaa....


Let's be honest. 


Moving on.....


OH! I am also going to try to write in this thing a LOT more. I'd love to write everyday but I run out of things to say a lot...Shocking. I know. I'm not sure what happened either. School comes first so a lot of the time I just don't have the time to write on here. But I'm going to try harder! That's a "doable" goal. 


Unlike #5...HAHA........


This blog sucks. Today sucks. Boooooo...


I wish I could lay in bed all day. And not move. And just lay here. And lay. And lay. And lay.


And lay.......


But no. I have to walk allllll the way across campus. Pretty much. Just to hand in a portfolio. And walk allllllllll the way back. OH....and its monsooning outside. This day could not get ANY better.


Alright, enough ranting on my part. Lo siento por this sucky blog. I'll try harder tomorrow. Pwomise. 


Countdown to <3 and :) begins now. 


It's about freaking time they leave. 


I love you Aaron, for eternity! Can't wait for you to come back. Stay safe and happy out there and remember who is back home supporting you every step of the way :) ME! 




"........................uhhh" - Me, regarding this entire process.

Why do you press harder on the remote when you know the batteries are dead?

Sooooooo. I have been digging through my facebook account, you know, basically stalking myself you could say. And I came across one of those chain note thingys from like 2 years ago. One of those things that asks you a ton of questions and everyone posts their answers. Well I always did them when I was bored. 

So I found one, and what you had to do was write 25 random things about yourself. Something random that people probably never knew about you, something strange about yourself (god knows I have enough of those), or something serious like maybe a goal you have for yourself. <---Goals? Lame.

Anyways, after reading these 25 things I'm not really sure if it was me writing this or my alter ego because some of these things SURE AS HELL do not apply today. 

One of them says "I love my summer friend and I miss him." Who the hell am I talking about!?!?

Anyone? Answers?

No...

Crap. Guess I'll never know.

Another one..."I have only one regret in life and I'll probably never tell you what it is." Well clearly my little 17 year old self had no idea what the word regret meant because once again...WHAT THE HELL AM I TALKING ABOUT!? Not a clue...

For the record, I have no regrets. Everything I have done has made me who I am today. Sappy, I know. But bare with me. Sure, I haven't always made the best decisions. Some decisions I wish I could have made differently. But again, no regrets.

Okay so after reading this "25 random things that must have been written about me by someone else" from 2 years ago, I decided that today I would write 25 more. Well, maybe not 25. Maybe more. Maybe less. We'll see where my mind takes me when I start thinking about it. 

*****(Insert # Here) Random Things About Meeee*****

1. I have a very high tolerance for pain. I was walking around without crutches after having knee surgery 6 hours earlier. However, I'm scared to death to get a tattoo.

2. The thought of being dirty makes me cringe. I HAVE to shower every morning before I can do anything else. Feeling dirt on the bottom of my feet is the worst.

3. My Nanna was and always will be the most influential person in my life because of her strength, determination, character, willpower, and constant desire to make everyone else happy before herself. When she was passing away, she made me promise to go to college and graduate in 4 years right after high school. It's a signed and dated promise that I would never ever break. 

4. Sometimes I wonder if transferring was really the best decision. 

5. I've never been the person who knew from the time they were a little kid what they wanted to be when they grow up. When everyone else wanted to be doctors and veterinarians I wanted to play with my dolls and be a mommy. That's why I feel like no matter what I major in at school, it'll never be "exactly what I want to do."

6. I'm extremely flighty. No matter how much you up my dosage of Adderall, I'll still be just as flighty. 

7. I have an extreme issue with organization. If I had the money, my things would be 100 times more organized than they already are. Just wait until I have my own house. I'll need a separate shopping trip and a Uhaul to bring home all of the containers, bins, shelves, whatever I could possibly find to make everything organized to my liking. 

8. If I could eat only pineapple every day for the rest of my life I would. Problem- burns my tongue after a while because of all the acid.

9. I don't think anything can ever be clean enough.

10. I wish that I was a lot smarter than I am. Like genius smart

11. I hate being late. And I hate when other people are late. 

12. I've always been extremely independent. I hate asking for help. It makes me feel like a failure.

13. I have an obsession with making everything "perfect" but I don't even know how to define the word "perfect" because nothing can ever be "perfect."

14. I truly believe that things can only get in your way if you put them there.

15. I'm not the type to make goals for myself because if I didn't meet them I'd forever feel like a failure. I don't like the word "goals" because I think it puts too much pressure on a person.

16. I know what I want and I'll never stop until I get it.

17. I'm the first to admit that I'm a 100% princess. Hey, can you blame me? I'm an only child AND I was the only grand child on both sides of my family for 14 years. 

18. I got a $250 speeding ticket on the way to pick up Aaron 2 summers ago at the Groton Sub Base. I fought my way out of it. Since then I usually drive like a grandma. Except not like my Nanna because she had a lead foot like no other.

19. I'm very articulate. I can write extremely professional letters that make me sound like I'm 40. How do you think I got my way out of the speeding ticket?

20. I have an answer for everything. Not because I'm a smart ass, but because I'm a smart person. You can't really throw anything hypothetical situation about my life at me that I haven't already thought about before. 

21. I might not always appear to be listening to what you have to say when you "give me your two sense" but trust me, I am. 

22. Aside from a select few, I almost always can never listen to a full song. You can call it song ADD.

23. Chaos makes me crazy. Whether its controlled chaos or just plain bat shit crazy chaos, I hate it. HATE.

24. I have a lot of anxiety that derives from a number of different things. I'm working on it...

25. All I really want is to make my family proud and to be with the person that I love.

26. I'm petrified of the dark. Probably because of the whole anxiety business.

27. I don't share. And if you ask me to share I feel like my heart is going to start racing and I'm going to have a panic attack because I never had to learn how to do that...Basically why I hate dorm rooms...

28. It bothers me when people don't treat me like the adult that I've proven that I deserve to be treated like.

29. I've been through a lot more than any 19 year old should have had to go through. I don't say that because I think it makes me better than anyone else or because I want sympathy. It's just a fact.

30. I'm definitely the type who has 2 or so "best friends" and maybe 10 or so "close friends." I'd rather get together with like 5 people at one of our houses than go to a rager. Not my scene.

31. I have a lot of opinions. Strong opinions. So if you ask me for my opinion, be prepared to hear it. 

32. I'm possibly the worlds pickiest eater. I try to like different foods, I just don't. 

33. I do my own thing and I don't care who follows. But don't expect me to follow you. 

34. When the Star Spangled Banner is playing, like say at a sporting event, and people don't remove their hats, don't take it seriously, and don't shut the hell up (unless their singing it...respectfully singing it) I get so mad to the point where I want to physically remove each one of their hats and tape each one of their mouths shut. Sometimes it takes everything in me not to say something.

35. I've come along way as far as caring vs not caring what people think. I have a small select group of people that I do care what they think. "People" can include family members, friends, mentors whatever. It doesn't matter who. But everyone else, no.

36. I come up with the strangest most "out there" things in my head. Why? I have no idea. Some of them I share. But some are just too much for anyone else but me to know about :-D

37. I ask "why" a lot. About everything. I always have. 

38. I'm crazy. Get used to it.

....Alright so I'm going to stop there :)

I think those are the most important ones and look you got 38 out of the deal too. 

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." - Maria Robinson

Where there's a will...I want to be in it.

No no. Just kidding. 


Kind of....


But where there is a will, there is definitely a way. And thats pretty much how I live my life. Especially when it comes to my long distance relationship with Aaron. Coming up here shortly, hopefully,  will be a 6 month deployment full of tons of mixed emotions and extremely limited contact.


Super.


Anyways, the wonderful Kristie shared a blog post from a friend of hers with me. It talked all about the different stages of the deployment. I wanted to share it on here so that the people closest to me would know that I'm not crazy. Even though you may all think that I am. 


Take the time to read this and get a little taste of what's really going on in my head now, and throughout this whole experience. Thanks Kristie for sharing this with me and please thank your friend as well :) 


The Stages of Deployment and the "Symptoms" That Go Along With It


First stage: Pre-Deployment:
Duration: Begins with the warning order for deployment and ends when the Sailor actually departs from home port
Symptoms include:
~Anticipation of loss vs. denial 
~Train-up/long hours away 
~Getting affairs in order
~Mental/physical distances
~Arguments

Second Stage: Deployment
Duration: the first month of Sailor being gone
Symptoms include:
~Mixed emotions/relief that they finally left and can work on coming back
~Disoriented/overwhelmed
~Numb, sad, alone
~Sleep difficulty
~Security issues

Third Stage: Sustainment (sometimes referred to as Denial/Abstaining/Rebuttal/Nonacceptance)
Duration: months 2-5 depending on longevity of deployment
Symptoms include:
~New routines established
~New sources of support
~Feel more in control
~Independence
~Confidence ("I can do this")

Fourth Stage: Remainder of Deployment
Duration: The month before Sailor is due to arrive home
Symptoms:
~Anticipation of homecoming
~Excitement
~Apprehension
~Burst of energy/"nesting"
~Difficulty making decisions

Fifth Stage: Post Deployment
Duration: 1-2 months after deployment
Symptoms:
~Honeymoon period
~Loss of independence
~Need for "own" space and time
~Renegotiating routines
~Reintegrating into Family




While all of these might not seem to apply since Aaron and I don't live together right now, I just wanted to post this as a way to maybe try and understand what goes on in my head and in my world during all of this. 


Just because we don't see each other all of the time doesn't make a six month deployment any easier. Yeah, we might not see each other all of the time, but now we won't really talk to each other either. 


So try to realize that that is a big change. And try not to be the person who says "You don't see each other anyways so what does it matter?" 


Because it does matter.


Realize that there might be days where I cry over the stupidest things and get all worked up. It's difficult to accept the reality of the person that you love going under the ocean in a metal tube for six months doing god knows what in dangerous areas. 


I don't think you can ever really fully prepare.


It's not easy...


It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. 


So like I said, if there's a will, there's a way. 


The will is there, and now I just have to find my way.

Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.

Alright so heres the deal. At this place, I have to haul my massive amounts of laundry down 4 flights of stairs and into a little tiny narrow room with lint balls, piles of unclaimed clothes and socks strewn all over the place complete with 8 washers and 12 dryers. Yes, 8 washers. 12 dryers. For 200 people. Figure that one out...

But anyways, upon lugging my laundry downstairs I found 2 washers open. Of course I needed 3. Well, lucky for me some girls clothes were on the "final spin." So, upon starting my other 2 loads, I moved her laundry out of the washer and placed it neatly on top since she was not there when it was finished. I started the load and went on my merry way...

Came back 40 minutes later when the stuff was almost done. The loads take 45 minutes and I always set my alarm to 40 so that I'm there early and not holding anyone else up like this biotch....

TO MY SURPRISE I was greeted by a lovely green post it note that read, and I quote (since it is now tacked to my cork board :D) "To whoever couldn't wait one minute for me to switch my clothes--you're a f***ing bitch." Hahahahhaahahahahaha....

Hahaha.

HA. 

Wait a sec. Let's rewind. You were late to get your clothes in a building with 200 people and 8 washers. And you're going to leave me this little snotty note on the washing machine? Cute.

It gets better. I turn around and see a girl sitting at the table in there. So I couldn't help but ask "Excuse me but did you write this? Were those your clothes?"

Girl: "Yes, I did. Don't get me wrong, I move peoples stuff too. (JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER PERSON IN THIS BUILDING) But I always wait at least ten or fifteen minutes (I call bullsh*t) before I move stuff. You wouldn't want your underwear sitting up there."

Me: "I am always here at least 5 minutes before my stuff is done so that I don't do what you did and hold other people up. Whether you were here one minute later or 10 minutes later you weren't here when it was done and when I needed it. And you're right, I wouldn't want my underwear sitting up there for the whole building to look at...Hence why I am ALWAYS here before my stuff is done." 

Girl: Silence. 

If you're going to leave me a cute little green post it note message on the washing machine calling me a f***ing biotch than at least put up a fight when I call you out on it :D 

And that brings me to the next thing... Shout out to Kristie for the list idea... I won't steal it again...

****BEST WAYS TO PISS OFF/FREAK OUT YOUR COLLEGE ROOMMATE****

1. Pretend to type in the air while complaining about how slow your computer has been lately.

2. Buy a fish tank. Fill it with beer. And dump Sardines in it.

3. Then talk to the Sardines. And name them. One fish. Two fish. Red fish. Blue fish.

4. Ask your roommate if your family can move in "just for a couple of weeks."

5. Move your mouth when you are silent and move it as little as possible when you are talking.

6. Fake a heart attack. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come pretend like nothing happened.

7. Smile. Obnoxiously. All the time.

8. Hide a bunch of potato chips in the bottom of a trash can. When you get hungry, root around in the trash. Find the food, and eat it. If your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry, demand that s/he reimburse you.

9. Cover your mouth when you talk to anyone.

10. But keep it open as much as possible when you are eating.

11. And then say..."DO YOU LIKE SEAFOOD?!" And show your roommate the contents of your mouth.

12. Put all of your books on the shelf with the spine facing the wall. Then complain loudly that you can never find the book that you want.

13. Listen to radio static.

14. ...Or "the sounds of nature" aka "pornographic audio that helps you..."sleep"...

15. Open your window shades before you go to sleep at night. And then shut them first thing in the morning.

16. Send secret admirer notes on their email account.

17. Cry...a lot...

18. Put a water balloon inside their pillow.

19. Create an imaginary cat for a pet. Talk to it every night, act like you're holding it, keep a litter box under your desk. After two weeks, say that your cat is missing. Put up signs in your dorm, blame your roommate.

20. Sit on the floor and talk to the wall.

21. Whenever the phone rings, get up and answer the door.

22. Whenever someone knocks on the door, answer the phone.

23. Turn the lights off when you get in the room. Turn them on when you leave.

24. Refuse to communicate in anything but sign language.

25. Or tongues.

26. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

27. Every time you wake up, start yelling, "Where am I?!" and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to bed. If your roommate asks, say you don't know what he/she is talking about.

28. "Drink" a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that you are in training. Eat a dozen donuts every night.

29. Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."

30. While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan. 

31. Start wearing a crown, all the time. If your roommate tells you to take it off, say, "What do you think you are? A king?"

32. Talk back to your "Rice Krispies." All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."

33. Challenge your roommate to a duel. If he/she refuses, claim that you have won by forfeit and therefore conquered his/her side of the room. Insist that he/she remove all of his/her possessions immediately.

34. Wear your shoes on the wrong feet, all the time. Constantly complain that your feet hurt.

35. When you walk into the room, look at your roommate in disgust and yell, "Oh, you're here!" Walk away yelling and complaining.

36. Draw a chalk outline on the floor. When your roommate comes in, say, "Don't worry. It's not what you think." If he/she asks about it again, immediately change the subject.

37. Talk like a pirate, all the time. Threaten to make your roommate walk the plank if he/she doesn't swab the deck. Arrrrrrrrrrrgh!

38. Buy a telescope. Sit on your bed and look across the room at your roommate through the telescope. When you're not using the telescope, act like your roommate is too far away for you to see.

39. As soon as your roommate turns the light off at night, begin singing famous operas as loud as you can. When your roommate turns on the light, look around and pretend to be confused. 

40. Tell your roommate that your toe hurts, and that means there's going to be an earthquake soon. While your roommate is out, trash everything on his/her side of the room. When he/she returns, explain that the earthquake hit, but only on one side of the room.

41. Tell your roommate that your boobs hurt, and that means it's going to rain. While your roommate is out, dump water all over their bed. When he/she returns, make it clear that you warned them the rain was coming and they should have closed their window.

42. Leave your room and lock the door. Proceed to bang on the door, screaming, "Let me in." Get mad at your roommate for locking you out.

43. Start stealing random traffic cones from around campus and store them in your room. When word gets out around campus, blame your roommate and tell your RA or call the cops.

44. Ask your roommate if Henry, your invisible friend, can stay the night.

45. Invite your roommate to sleep over.

46. Every time you take a shower yell "I'm melting! I'm melting!"

47. When you leave the room put on a screen saver on your computer that says "I'm watching you!"

48. Take your birth control in the middle of the night and set the alarm so that you make sure you make up. Make the alarm sound your boyfriend saying "TAKE THAT PILL WE DON'T WANT NO BABIES!"

49. When your roommate is about to come home, hide in the closet. Five minutes after he gets home, walk out. If he comments, act as if you don't know what he's talking about.

50. Leave a declaration of war on your roommate's desk. Include a list of grievances.

OHHHHHH don't I just love college...Hahaha...

Ha....

.....

"I don't need to pay a therapist to give me crap. I have a roommate that does it for free." - Ally McBeal

"If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want to get an education, go to the library." - Frank Zappa

And just because this is the type of mood that I'm in...

"If life gives you lemons, go find an annoying guy with paper cuts." - Anonymous

:D

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

^ ^ ^ Well yes...

BUT...Have you ever imagined a world free of people with punchable faces? I think about it every day. What is a punchable face you ask? Well. I will be GLAD to inform you.

Listen up. Simply read through the following questionnaire and you will find out.

IS MY FACE PUNCHABLE? IF SO, HOW PUNCHABLE?!

1. Do you say/do/act-out/impersonate vile and inappropriate things at the dinner table? (ie-girl in the dining hall with the banana...)

2. Do you name your child Luke Jonathan only to turn around and call him Jonathan?

3. Do you dress like Kourtney Kardashian's baby daddy, Scott?

4. Do you exhibit any of the pet peeves discussed in previous blog posts? (*HINT- See blog post titled "This is my pet. His name is Peeve." It might help jostle your brain a little.)

5. Do you force your men to work ungodly hours on or in a giant metal tube doing who the hell knows what?

6. Do like you like think like that you're like a like barbie like girl like or like whatever like and like do you like talk like this like like like?!?!!!!!!!!!

7. Do you push the elevator button or the cross walk button more than once thinking that it will make it come faster or let you walk faster?

8. Do you try to rain on my parade, and actually think that it will work?

9. Do you post status's like "dinosaur num nums go RAWR!" or "boyfrwend bwought me wunch!- dinosaur shaped sandwiches that went RAWR!"when you are 20 years old and a sophomore in college?

10. Do you walk around like your sh*t don't stankkkkk?


*WARNING: There are many more criteria that can deem you "worthy of a punchable face." The questionnaire was kept short for the purpose of this post. If you fit any of the above criteria than you may in fact have a punchable face. I advise you to take all precautionary measures in order to avoid ever finding yourself in this situation ever again.

If you answered yes to 1 of the above than you are steps away from a punchable face.

If you answered yes to 2 or more of the above than you have a punchable face.

If you answered yes to 4 or more of the above than you have a highly punchable face.

If you answered yes to 6 or more of the above than you have a severely punchable face.

If you answered yes to 8 or more of the above than you might want to begin thinking about your counterattack plan.

If you answered yes to all ten of the above than I suggest you run for the hills. You indeed have the worlds most punchable face.


AND...One more tidbit...If you answered yes to number 5... Come see me. I've got beef with you. You don't need to answer yes to any more to actually have the worlds most punchable face.

"Don't forget. SOME people need to be punched in the throat because if they spoke any more you would have to take them out for the sake of evolution." - Kristie Helwig :)

If all is not lost, where is it?

Okay so the title really has just about nothing to do with the post itself...but hey. I liked it. Leave me alone :)

A little birdie named Kristie has been bugging me about when I was going to write another blog post ;-) WELL my mind has been running a blank. So I did some research. And I found this super sweet website that talked about all sorts of palindromes. You know, the words or phrases that are the same front wards and back wards...Pretty amusing to me in my state of boredom......

SO here they are. Top ten crazy palindromes.

YO banana boy

Yo bro, free beer for boy

Was it a car or a cat I saw?


Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog


Golf? No sir. Prefer prison flog.


Did bob poop? Bob did!


Murder for a jar of red rum.


Aloha! Hola! (minus the !)


Some men interpret nine memos

And finally. The best for last....


Dennis, Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen sinned.


Go ahead. Check that one if you don't believe me. I dare you. 








Are you done? Okay. See. Told you I'm right...

Makeup your mind.

See now, that's just not possible when it comes to me in a Bare Escentuals Boutique. There are no if's and's or but's about it. Every time I come within close proximity to anything Bare Escentuals my make up radar starts beeping like crazy and I end up right in front of the door. Really! It's great!

Oh you're saying these eye shadows are 3 for $36?! Fantastic! I'll take 12...Oh and this will keep my brushes soft and pretty for forever!? I guess I NEED that too! If I spend $100 dollars I get $10 off!? Sweet deal. That means if I spend $200 I get $20 off! Better keep shopping...!

I can recall one time Aaron and I were shopping while I was in Hawaii, and my radar went off and led me right to the front door of the Ala Moana Mall Bare Escentuals Boutique. I 'bout near died and went to heaven. Biggest one I've ever been to!

Aaron: "Easy, don't spend a fortune."
Me: "Hahahahahahaaaaaaaaa, you are such a silly little sailor."

Aaron after at least a half hour in the store: "Can't you just make up your mind?"

Thus...the blog post.

No. No, I really can't. I have to have everything. EVERYTHING. He knows better now than to question me when it comes to this stuff. My collection grows every month and will continue to grow until they stop selling this stuff or until I die, which ever comes first.

I don't know what led me to this obsession. I blame my Nanna. She introduced me to it. And I love her for it. (<3 rip! :)

Now, excuse me while I take inventory of my collection, and see what I need. My pretty new brush roll has lots of open spots in it! They're unveiling a new product and all the boutiques are having giveaways and everything! YES! And its tomorrow! Woohoo!

"Kiss and make up--but too much makeup has ruined many a kiss." - Mae West

"I love the confidence that makeup gives me." - Tyra Banks

"You can make any face pretty with the right amount of makeup." - Lauren Conrad

This is my pet. His name is Peeve.

Listen up boys and girls, today's lesson is about Alyssa's pet peeves. She has many of them...

Okay enough with the third person, but for real. I have a lot of pet peeves. More than I'd say the average person has. I guess not all of them are pet peeves, but rather, things that annoy the living sh*t out of me (on a bad day) and just irritate me on a good day. The following are in no particular order...

NUMERO UNO:
Snoring. I know. I know. You can't help it. Well let me just tell you, my future husband is going to have to "help it." He snores? His ass is getting surgery. I'll settle for breathe right strips as long as they work. There will be a cabinet stocked full. God forbid we ever ran out...Once I hear snoring I wake right up. Can't get it out of my head. SUCH an awful sound.

DOS:
The way people eat. PLEASE for the love of god, could you please just chew with your mouth shut? My mommy and daddy taught me how to do this when I was like two. At this point in your adult lives, this should not be that much to ask. Also, to me, biting your fork is like nails on a chalk board. Please refrain from doing so in my presence. And, if you're going to smack your food in your mouth, don't expect an invite to any of my dinner parties. I really just don't know how people make certain noises with their food when they eat...It's so unbelievably disgusting.

TRESSSSS:
Messiness and lack of organization. Now, I'm no angel when it comes to keeping things clean but let me tell you, the way some people keep their dorm rooms at this place makes me cringe. How can you live like that!? Clothes on the floor, garbage overflowing, dust everywhere, piles of notebooks on the desks. Terrible! I'm the type of person who has to make their bed before I can get in it to go to sleep. I have to clean off my entire desk and make sure everything is in its proper space (yes, everything has a proper place) before I can sit down to do my homework. If I do homework on my bed, it's got to be made and there can't be any clothes on it or notebooks from classes I'm not working on. As for organization, thats like an essential thing in life. I'm not always a neat freak, but I sure as hell am an organization freak.

QUATRO:
When people don't answer your question. Obviously I'm asking you a question for a reason, I feel that you have the answer to something I clearly need answered. So please, for both of our sakes, instead of beating around the bush, would you mind just answering my question? I'd really appreciate it...And teachers, please don't turn the question around on me. Don't ask me "Well what do you think" because if I knew what I thought, then CLEARLY I wouldn't be asking you now would I? I didn't think so...This gets me no where.

CINCO:
Couples who sit on the same side of the table/booth when there is no one on the other side. Okay, look. When you work in a restaurant it drives you nuts. If you really insist, than fine. Personally, if I'm at a restaurant with Aaron I'd rather be across the table so I can look at him. But if you want to cramp next to your significant other and bump arms and canoodle at the dinner table than fine. Just don't do it where I work :) I find it extremely weird. You have the entire table!!!!

SEIS:
Bad table manners. Sit up. Put your napkin on your lap. Don't shovel your food into your mouth. Don't put your elbows on the table. Don't hold your utensils with your ENTIRE hand. Simple, really. If you're in the comfort of your own home its not so bad. But if you're at a family gathering or out in public or something of the sort, you know you should display your best manners just like I know your mommy and daddy taught you. God bless your handsome little sailor self Aaron but your table manners need some help ;-)

SIETE:
Snapping gum. Please please please just stop. Once in a while is okay, I do it too by accident sometimes. But if we're in an exam or even just in a lecture, could you please refrain? Thanksssssss

OCHO:
The naming of celebrity couples, or any couple for that matter. If anyone tries to combine mine and Aaron's names to give us some sort of a "cute" nickname you've got another thing coming. Why is it necessary to call Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie "Brangelina"???!!!!???!!!! It's not cute. It's not funny. It's not necessary. It's annoying.

NUEVE:
Grammar. At this point we should all know that there are 3 different forms of the word there. "There" is an adverb meaning location, or if used with "to be" as an idiom. Are we going there tonight? Are there going to be a lot of people there? WOAH twice in one sentence..."Their" used to show possession or ownership. Their house is very nice. "They're" is a contraction of they are. They're going to be there tonight with their parents. WOW, look at that. Used every form in one sentence. Your and you're is rather annoying too. But not nearly as much as there, their, and they're. I don't make that mistake. But I'll forget the "e" sometimes on the YOU ARE contraction that makes up "you're" occasionally. Work on it.  Kay? Thanks :)

AND FINALLY...

DIEZ:
Being late. Honestly, this could be a contender for the top spot on the list of pet peeves. I would rather be a half hour early for a class than be one minute late. I am NEVER late. And if I am, somethings wrong. Like really, I must have been killed on the way. Or else it was completely not under my control. Like maybe I wasn't the driver (rare). If you tell me that you are going to be here at 9, be here at 9. If you tell me to be at your house at 5, I will be there at 5. Not 5:05. 5:00. If you know you're going to be late, than call. If I think for one second that I'll be late for work, I call. Even if its a "I MIGHT be a few minutes late." I call. And if I had to call I must be stuck in traffic, because again, I'm never late. 


If you made it this far through my pet peeves you must think I'm one mental person. I warned you. I said I had a lot of them. It's not normal. Don't worry. I'm aware. Can't help it! ;-)


"I don't have pet peeves, I have whole kennels of irritation." - Whoopi Goldberg


...hey! That would have been a good title! It seems as if I am the same way. Thank you Whoopi for this realization!